For those who don't know, my husband has Chronic Ulcerative Colitis. CUC is a disease of the large intestine. Ulcers form in the intestine causing bleeding, bloating, cramping, and diarrhea. He has had the disease for over 20 years. Over the years various drugs have keep it at bay. Two years ago things started to get worse and then last year he ended up in the hospital. Three times. In an effort to try and get it under control they tried several new drugs. The last drug they tried has kept the CUC at bay but has given him such bad side effects, that in between treatments, he was unable to get out of bed for 3 weeks. His body ached so bad he had to walk with a cane for a while and his knees are so damaged that has been told that eventually he will need his knees replaced and probably his hips. In the summer, he ended up with blood clots in his arm. I now have to give him a shot of blood thinner in his tummy everyday. He's only 50. Since the drugs have failed to work for him, his only option is surgery. The complete removal of his large intestine.
I can't believe that tomorrow will be the end of one chapter of our life and the start of another. The surgery is tomorrow. I don't know what will be harder to see. The aftermath of the surgery or the tears running down my children's face as they said goodbye to Dad. They are staying with grandparents tonight and tomorrow and won't be able to see Dad for a few days. There will be lots of tubes after the surgery and we don't want the children seeing that. They are scared. Heck, we are all scared. Scared of the unknown. There is no turning back. But this is the only option.
The only keeping us sane at the moment is the boys hockey. We weren't going to put the boys in rep hockey this year but in the summer, a coach called us, begging for my youngest to be on the team. They needed a goalie and Joshua was on the A team last year. He would be the only goalie on the team. After debating about it long and hard, we decided to let Joshua play, as long as I could find some sponsors for him. Unfortunately, that has proved harder than I thought. I decided to run an online fundraiser for him. You can click on his picture to read the story he wrote or to donate him. All the money raised will go to pay his hockey fees.
Luckily my husband was well enough to see one of Joshua's games on the weekend. It will the last one he will see in a while. They lost. But that's ok. Dad was there. And that's all that mattered. Hockey is the only escape right now. Somewhere for Joshua to go where he doesn't have to think about about the medical things happening at home. Where he can forget that Dad is sick. We still have a long way to go. Dad is going to be sicker before he gets better. But at least we will have hope. The hope that life can someday be back to the way it was.
I've added a few new pictures from Joshua's game on Sunday if you click on his picture, you will get to them. If you are a praying person we would appreciate a prayer tomorrow.
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